Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
