Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i need some magic done to my vagina
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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