How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
