Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
