no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
