when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did I show you my penis last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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