Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
