That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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