I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
