i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
