life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
