I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
