This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
