I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am mentally ready for anal.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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