i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
