Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think people are normalizing furries
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
