i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
