she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize