A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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