i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
