i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Can you repeat that, but with context?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
