just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
