No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
