Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
