She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
