whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize