my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
