There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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