Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
