i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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