Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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