she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
