I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
