She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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