and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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