if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
