And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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