i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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