At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
