She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
