mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
