No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
