I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize