The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize