But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
