WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
