well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize