before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
