no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
