love makes seman taste better
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
