just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Pooping to opera.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
