o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize