took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
