Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
