I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
