and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
