Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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