Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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