did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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